Fuck you 

is all I want to do. 

Reach in to you

touch your barriers and knock them down. 

Pull your heartstrings 

Tear your insecurities apart. 

Feel this

My writing, 

it screams for you 

Quiver 

 your lips

press upon my lines 

as I press upon your spine 

To trace your soul

  touch

    and 

      caress.

-You

Sweat

drown me in the flavor

 of your inner workings 

My fingers 

dance

Lub-dub

faster

Lub-dub, Lub-dub

Quicker

Lub-dub, Lub-dub, Lub-dub

UNCONTROLLABLY 

Lub-dubLud-dubLub-dubLub-dub

Pause

Don’t release me

Bury me

Overcome me

Fucking touch me

    bring me to life

as i dig my nails 

into

 into

   into 

-your veins 

Cold rivers of Red

Tangle me, bite-

Inject it  poison me  

Hurt me,

Something! 

I’ve dug, built, maintained

The Torch 

Kept the fire burning 

Penetrated through icebergs

until

-you spilled your fear 

now

Complete me

Finish me 

At least 

pleasure me 

-my love,

Fuck you

By Christian Benavides 

November 12, 2012- Ramblings

The Future. That's where all my focus is. I want to be as successful as possible. My mind is constantly turning and turning fueled by my dreams but so much so that my vision for the present is foggy. I haven't been seeing the world around me clearly and it feels like I'm not really living. My life has become almost mediocre. I can say I'm happy, I can say that I am doing fine, I can say many things but I really don't know what I am right now. I don't believe is necessarily a bad thing. Though, as I keep writing, I'm realizing that there is something I do know. There is a void in myself that is painful. It's a longing for intimacy. I've been so alone for so long and all I want is that special someone. I want to share my everything for once even if it's for a short period of time. I want to look at that girl whom with one stare, erases all concept of time. But I guess it's not the right time for that. This hazy reality that I look at everyday is ugly. But I realize I'm in metamorphosis. I am changing, molding, growing for my future. It's definitely painful to see my present shrivel up and rot. I've given up all emotions just for my future. I just really hope it turns out well. I don't want to go through all this numbness I'm putting myself through just to be disappointed. I'm tired of being disappointed.